How fatherhood impacts mental health

As we commemorate Mental Health Awareness Month this October, Andile's candid words bring to light an often overlooked topic – the impact of fatherhood on mental health.

Andile shared some of the new feelings he has had to deal with while raising his son, "As time went on, anxiety soon kicked in as separating from him and worrying about him throughout the day became the new normal."

The World Health Organization (WHO) says mental health is "a state of well-being where an individual can realise their own potential, manage the typical stresses of life, work productively, and contribute to their community". For fathers like Andile, finding this balance while carrying the responsibilities of fatherhood can feel really hard.

Money and work pressure

The responsibility to provide for the family can cause stress and anxiety, especially if a man has lost his job or doesn’t have a reliable income.

Balancing work responsibilities with family time can also lead to feelings of guilt and overwhelm. Dads might find themselves caught between having to meet their work commitments (so that they can provide!) and spending quality time with their children.

Physical health

As Andile says, especially when their child is young, fathers might be getting much less sleep than the ideal eight hours a night. This lack of sleep can make them feel very tired and irritable, and can make it harder to manage any mental health issues they already have.

Dads might also experience prenatal and postpartum depression when a new baby is on the way or has been born. This can include “traditional” symptoms like fatigue and changes in sleep or appetite – but they are less likely to show outwardly emotional expressions, like crying.

Relationships

The arrival of a new baby can change relationship dynamics, and this can cause more fighting between couples and in families. Fathers might feel left out or ignored when their partner gives so much of their time, energy and attention to the baby.

This feeling of loneliness can also get worse if a man doesn’t have a support network of other fathers or friends who truly get it. This loneliness can really impact their mental well-being.

Becoming a parent is more than just a new title – it is a completely new part of being a human being. This significant shift in identity can be tough to navigate, sometimes leaving dads feeling lost or confused about their new role.

Expectations and social pressure

Pressures and expectations from our communities can weigh heavily on fathers. The pressure to be a "perfect" dad can be mentally exhausting. Traditional gender norms might discourage men from expressing their emotions, leading to bottled-up feelings and potential mental health issues.

Andile's story reflects these challenges, but it also highlights resilience and growth. "Now, as my son is just shy of two, I have learnt how to worry less, ensure I am able to both make time for him, and also time for myself," he shares.