When the mind struggles, the body lets you know

Working with fathers , Being a father

“People do not seek psychological help often – especially not men. What happens instead is that we see the symptoms of depression manifest in bodily symptoms: insomnia, body pain, tense muscles and a rapid heart rate,” says clinical psychologist Aluta Ngantweni.

The process of seeking psychological help is not always well understood. People come to get medical assistance for the physical symptoms they are experiencing in response to what may be an undiagnosed psychological condition. Once those have been treated by a doctor, they don’t come back to deal with whatever mental health challenge was causing the physical symptoms, Ngantweni says.

People also deal with their psychological health issues in different ways. Some try to cope by resorting to alcohol and substance abuse. Others rely on their spirituality or consult with a traditional healer. Many people have suffered overwhelming trauma, and they just need someone to talk to – a cathartic space, says Ngantweni. “I may be the only person who listens to them,” he says, explaining that many people do not have a supportive home life where they have someone to talk to about what they may be feeling.

“Mental health issues are normal. As soon as you find social or professional support, you can deal with them. You shouldn't just look at the physical aspects of your body – you also need to consider your emotions,” says Ngantweni. In seeking support, he encourages the use of whatever resources are available, such as a trustworthy family member or friend, a religious community or a community clinic. “We need to normalise situations around mental health to reduce the stigma.”

If you are experiencing physical symptoms that you think may be related to depression or anxiety, these may be helpful:

  • The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) has great resources and free telephonic counselling. Call the 24-hour free helpline on 0800 456 789 or WhatsApp 076 882 2775 for assistance.

  • The Bongs Ndima Foundation was founded to address and create awareness around depression and anxiety amongst South African men. WhatsApp 076 690 5884 to get in touch.

At Heartlines, the Centre for Values Promotion, we believe in the power of story and positive values to touch hearts and transform behaviour.


Lereko Mfono

Amatyma Financial Wellness Conference

Read more

You may also like

Ayanda Sitole

Is paying pap geld, being an ATM and having material wealth the only way to be a good father in South Africa?

A meeting of dads at Riverbank Primary School unlocked a debate that set out to change the hearts of men.

Read more
Lereko Mfono

Creating social spaces for dads to connect with their children

A food truck in Johannesburg is creating a unique space for fathers to spend time with their children and connect with other fathers. 

Read more

Reforming the idea of fatherhood

A group of men at a correctional services facility in Paarl, in the Western Cape, is exploring ways they can be different fathers to the ones they had growing up and how they can be present and positively involved in their children's lives. 

Read more

'I thought I could get through to my child by beating her up'

Peer pressure, unemployment and generational methods of discipline have led to frustrated fathers in Alex seeking new ways of parenting.

Read more

How fathers can pass on values to their children

Watch this sermon by Heartlines Senior Programme Manager Brian Helsby as he looks at the impact of absent fathers and what the church and Christians can do in response.

Read more

No rule books for dads

Fathers Matter Ambassador Michael Mol shares the lessons he has learnt as a father.

Read more