Session 5: The father I want to be

Icebreaker (10 min)

  • Complete the sentence: Every father should be able to teach his child how to…?
  • If time permits, you can hear from some members about how their father’s blessing exercise was received.
  • What has stood out for you over the past four sessions? To what extent do you now believe that fathers matter?

Setting the scene (5 min)

Facilitator’s note: You or one of the members of the group reads this section aloud to everyone.

A father’s journey is a challenging one, with many ups and downs, but if we can begin to understand what a positive father is and to dream about the father we want to be to our children, we will be able to take steps to become that type of father.

Throughout the Old Testament there are important stories that show us the value of a father’s blessing over his children. A blessing is one of the ways God has allowed fathers to give their children a sense of identity and destiny.

In Matthew 19 we read about parents bringing their children to Jesus to lay his hands on them and bless them. There is something special about a father’s blessing, whether from an earthly father or our Heavenly Father. A blessing is a public declaration of a favoured status (Luke 2:52). A blessing can be a source of power for prosperity and success. And in all cases, blessings are a guide and motivation in a child’s life.

Understanding the importance of a father’s presence and blessing, we may wonder about children who grow up without a father. There are many circumstances that lead to a father’s absence. Things like death, divorce, infidelity, mothers not allowing fathers to see their children, and certain cultural practices can all cause a man to be an absent father. Some of the other Fathers Matter Connect Group modules look at several of these specific challenges in more detail.

Heartlines’ research has shown that even a man who isn’t a child’s biological father can have an impact on their life if he is a positive and present role model.

Where we face challenges in our fathering, we can seek wisdom from God and learn to follow his word to help us grow into the fathers we want to be. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. Take to heart these words that I give you today. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you’re at home or away, when you lie down or get up. Write them down, and tie them around your wrist, and wear them as headbands as a reminder. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

May we grow in our fathering as we follow our Heavenly Father.

Watch the video (5 min)

Video Embed fallback imageLearning to be an active father | Father's Matter | Heartlines

Conversation questions (30 min)

  • What one thing have you learnt from your father or a father figure that you’d like to pass on to the next generation?
  • What’s one fathering challenge you have right now – and how could this group support you?

(Facilitator's Note: Allow time for other members to share their experience or advice on the challenges raised.)

Group prayer time (5 min)

Facilitator’s note: For big groups, divide into pairs and pray for each other.

Pray for each other and say this blessing over each other:

“May the Lord bless you and take good care of you.
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord look on you with favour and give you peace.”

– adapted from Numbers 6:24-26

Wrap-up (10 min)

We’ve come to the end of our first module of the Fathers Matter Connect Group series! We’ve shared our stories, been encouraged by one another, and been challenged about the kind of fathers we’d like to be. What a journey it’s been thus far.

For those who’d like to continue, there are a few other modules available, and these can be found on the Fathers Matter website. The group can decide which of the modules to do next based on the needs of the members.

There’s also a feedback form that the Heartlines team would like us to complete. Please also remember to sign up at fathersmatter.org.za for updates, resources and tips to help you on your fathering journey.

Until we meet again, may the blessing of our Heavenly Father continue in our own fathering journeys.

Final actions and tips

Fathers Matter Christian Connect Group Core Module

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