Session 1: Why fathers matter
Welcome and icebreaker (8–10 min)
Facilitator’s note: Welcome everyone and ask each group member to introduce themselves and their “father status” – e.g. “I’m Andile and I’m a: father/father-to-be/father figure/interested in becoming a father.”
Icebreaker question:
Who is a famous father you admire – and why?
Setting the scene (5 min)
Facilitator’s note: You or one of the members of the group reads this section aloud to everyone.
If you ask anyone, “Do mothers matter?”, the answer will be a definite “Yes”, or, “Obviously!” Then ask, “Do fathers matter?”, and you’ll probably get a range of answers, some might be positive but most will be undecided or negative.
People don’t seem to understand the importance of fathers being positively involved in their children’s lives. This is mainly because many children grow up without a loving, caring and present father or father figure.
Children who grow up without positive and active fathers are at risk of a number of health and academic challenges, and are open to things like addiction and abuse. That said, a father’s absence is only a risk factor. Many children grow up and thrive when they are raised by a single mother or loving, non-biological caregiver.
Heartlines, a values-based social change organisation, did research on fatherhood in South Africa. This research became the foundation for the Fathers Matter project. This Connect Group resource is one of many resources in the project that aim to encourage men to be better fathers and to help us answer the question: Why do fathers matter?
The Bible has a lot to say about the love of our Heavenly Father and why our relationship with God our Father matters. Over the next five sessions, we’ll watch and listen to different fathers and children reflecting on their father stories.
We’ll also get to share some of our own stories and wisdom with each other. Whether you’re a fresh, sleep-deprived father, an experienced grandfather, or simply hoping to be a father one day, you have something to share!
This group should be a safe space for us to do that. So we’d like to encourage everyone to listen with empathy and without judgement, to ask with curiosity and the genuine humility of wanting to learn, and to tell our own stories with honesty and courage.
Where sensitive information is shared, let’s agree to respect one another’s privacy. Where challenges are shared, let’s commit to praying for and supporting one another.
Through this course, we hope to become better fathers and to answer for ourselves: This is why fathers matter!
Let’s watch a video together and spend some time in conversation.
Watch the video (8 min)
Conversation questions (30 min)
- What comes to mind when you hear the word “father”?
- What are you hoping to get out of this course?
- What’s one fathering challenge you’re hoping to address through our time together in this group?
Wrap-up (8–10 min)
The facilitator shares a bit of his own father story about his relationship with his father and his child(ren) and summarises the key themes shared by the group.
You’ve heard a bit of my story. Over the next few sessions, we’ll hear more of one another’s stories too. The next session is all about understanding our own father stories.
In preparation for the session, start thinking about your relationship, or non-relationship, with your own father. In which ways has it impacted your life? Please come ready to share your story next week.
In 1 John 3:1 (NIV) we read, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”
Our hope through this course is that we encounter the love of the Father in a new and fresh way, so that we can model love to our children.
Let’s close in prayer.
Fathers Matter Christian Connect Group Core Module
- Session 1: Why fathers matter
- Session 2: Understanding our own father stories (Part 1)
- Session 3: Understanding our own father stories (Part 2)
- Session 4: What is a father?
- Session 5: The father I want to be
- Download full resource
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