Why women matter in the Fathers Matter story

But South Africa’s women are hurting. From negative experiences with their own fathers – for a myriad of systemic, social and personal reasons – to the disproportionate weight of responsibility in raising our nation’s children, women have been through the most.

One of our goals in helping men to be active, positive and present in children’s lives is to benefit women.

By enabling men to own, share and change their perspectives on fatherhood, to deal with their own father wounds, and to write a different story with their own children, we hope to create a healthier nation.

Children need both women and men in their lives. As one of our research participants put it: “If your relationship with your child’s father is sour try, in front of your kids, to contain yourselves. Even when you talk to your child, never speak bad about his father because it impacts the children so much.”

As Fathers Matter Project Manager, Zamabongo Mojalefa recently said at one of our workshops, “We can’t be kept captive by our past and expect the next man you encounter to exhibit the same behaviour. Our reality changes once our perspective on what we deserve changes.”

In this journey, women’s stories matter hugely.

The Fathers Matter project is compiling a resource to help guide women through the important, but often difficult, conversations around fatherhood and we are looking forward to creating space for women to share their stories.

In the meantime, you can explore some of the other stories about women that we’ve put together:

• Read Nkosinathi’s story of being raised by a phenomenal single mother.
• Read Lebo’s story about how she learnt to co-parent with her ex-husband.
• Watch our film about Melodi’s story where she confronts the pain of having grown up without her father, who abandoned her.
• Watch our film Family Portrait which shows the journeys of two very different women, Nomvula and her mother, and their conflicting perspectives about when a man should be involved in his child's life.