A new narrative for fatherhood in the Garden Route

In August, a diverse team from Heartlines Fathers Matter gathered with around 80 delegates representing churches, NGOs and organisations like the South African Police Service for a two-day Fathers Matter Ambassadors Conference in George in the Western Cape. The plan? To train up ambassadors who understand the crucial importance of working with men to become better fathers and father figures and to equip them with training and resources to be able to impact their communities.

After two days of worship, small group conversations, eating together, watching two of the six Fathers Matter short films, panels, and question and answer sessions, delegates left inspired to take the conversation into their spaces of influence. This was just some of the feedback:

“We shared our conference experience with our church leadership and are ready to go onto the battlefield. God bless you guys for an awesome presentation of fatherhood.”

“I’ve committed to start the conversation going amongst my colleagues during our lunch breaks. We will be looking at meeting at least once a week as colleagues and engaging each other.”

“The fact that we were from different towns was a plus, because now we have connected and understand that we can network with more people from everywhere.”

“As educationists, we realise the effects, challenges and ramifications of absent, passive or inactive fathers. The results, wounds and scars can be witnessed on and in the minds, hearts and souls of our learners.”

A representative from SAPS asked for more of his people to be able to receive training about Fathers Matter so that it can influence how they show up in the communities they work in.

Fathers do matter

In a room largely comprising of pastors and church leaders, the Fathers Matter team created space for heartfelt times of worship and invited God to do the work needed to help the delegates be effective ambassadors in their spaces.

Community mobilisation team lead Olefile Masangane led a group-based discussion as people sat together in regional hubs that will continue to network and collaborate after the event.

There was a general feeling of excitement and anticipation that translated into the group times with a deep buzz of energy and engagement as people leaned in to hear each other’s stories. These group spaces were key places of engagement during the conference as they gave people an opportunity to flesh out what action steps to take for their particular areas.

Senior programmes manager at Heartlines, Brian Helsby, led us through the research-based theory of the programme, dealing with the risks there are to children if father figures are not present, and the important roles that both fathers and mothers need to play together to ensure children’s well-being. He also spoke about the value of social fathers and touched on the father wound that so many of us carry and the need to deal with that so that we don’t risk repeating it with our children. As one delegate shared: “I never heard my dad say ‘I love you’ unless he had something to drink. He treats vulnerability like a shallow pool and he never learned how to swim.”

Impacted people impact people

Debbie Bruce, Heartlines representative in the region, and a pastor at one of the local Baptist churches, created a pivotal moment when she shared the deeply painful story of her journey with her father and then moved towards a prophetic call and declaration that the Garden Route will never be the same again.

During the final worship session, Wesley van Graan, who was leading, declared, “Die Here patch nie op nie. Hy maak nuut!” and with the conference verse from Malachi 4.5 ringing fresh in our ears – “He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents”– a new group of Fathers Matter ambassadors set out to be an active, present part of transforming the narrative of fatherhood in George, Knysna, and the surrounding areas.