A different kind of New Year’s resolution

There’s something about the start of a new year that fills us with renewed hope and optimism for the future. New year, new you – how familiar does that sound?

You’ve written down your vision and set goals for the year ahead. Maybe you’ve even gone a step further and committed to a yearly budget, determined to stay accountable for the year. But here’s a thought worth pausing on: have you taken time to reflect on the values that will shape how you live, how you work, and how you treat the people around you?

The reality is, our goals tell us what we want to achieve but our values determine who we become along the way. If you are a baby boomer or pre-1990 Millennial you’ll remember how important ‘Ubuntu’ was unifying principle during the transition from apartheid to democracy – it even appeared in our country's Interim Constitution (1993). But as the years have gone by we seem to have lost that spirit, along with our sense of compassion and empathy. 

There are many moments we can look back on that reveal just how disconnected we’ve become from one another as human beings. How someone’s pain has become “instagramable”. How a mother's cry after losing her daughter in a horrific minibus accident that claimed 13 other learners' lives became a viral TikTok but she was just reduced to being “the lady in red”.

What if we cared about each other and began to see humanity in one another again? 

As you set your goals for the year, our hope is that you also lean into the values that make you kinder and more empathetic to the person next to you. Which had us thinking, if lived well this is what your values can do: 

Compassion

We record so much of our lives and the lives of others on our phones. We capture the highlights, the funny moments and the shocking scenes. But compassion reminds us to really see the next person, and to respond with care and empathy. Not every moment, especially ones that expose us at our most vulnerable, deserve to be uploaded to the internet for laughs, likes or shares. Some moments are meant to be experienced in a safe environment. 

Acceptance 

We live in a country that is still healing from its past. There have been many instances where we’ve wronged each other, but acceptance teaches us how to embrace our differences and how we can move forward together, rather than tearing each other apart.

Honesty 

Watching the 7 PM news now feels like a scene right out of a Saturday night action film. Many of the people we admired stand accused of serious crimes. And with every commission of inquiry we have slowly begun to lose hope in ever fully seeing justice prevail. While we might have once looked at their lives with envy, honesty teaches us to be content with what we have and integrity in how we live and choose to make a living. 

Forgiveness 

We’ve all faced bullying in one way shape or form – whether at school, in the workplace, on the road or even at church. No space is immune to bullies, but forgiveness reminds us that we don't have to remain stuck in the cycle of resentment that holds all of us back. The real question is: how do we begin to forgive? Remember that when you choose to forgive. It’s not a once-off decision. Some days you’ll feel free, other days the wound will ache again, but each time, you can make the choice to heal and not seek revenge.

Kindness towards self and others 

We speak of being kind a lot: “Show kindness to your neighbour; you never know what people are going through.” This year we want to encourage you to start being kind to yourself. Too often, we reserve compassion for everyone else while we judge ourselves harshly. ​​But we believe that when you learn to treat yourself with patience, understanding and forgiveness, it becomes easier to extend that same grace to others. 

Although there are countless values we could explore, at the heart of it, this is what truly matters: how we accept differences, own our mistakes, forgive, show compassion, show self-control, tell the truth, care for others and allow people to try again. 

If you are looking for more values-based content you can start by watching the Heartlines 8 films 8 Values series and then download the discussion guides for each film and pick some questions that you can talk through with your connect group, team, family or friends.