A different kind of New Year’s resolution

You’ve written down your vision and set goals for the year ahead. Maybe you’ve even gone a step further than most and committed to a yearly budget, determined to keep yourself and your family accountable. But here’s a thought worth pausing on: have you taken time to reflect on the values that will shape how you live, how you work and how you treat the people around you?

The reality is, our goals tell us what we want to achieve, but our values determine who we become along the way. If you are a baby boomer or pre-1990 millennial, you may remember how important Ubuntu was as a unifying principle during the transition from apartheid – it even appeared in our country's Interim Constitution. But as the years have gone by, we seem to have lost some of that kindred spirit and our sense of compassion and empathy. 

Moments that reveal just how disconnected we’ve become from one another as human beings are all over social media, where pain has become “instagramable”. Like the grieving mother who lost her daughter in a horrific minibus accident and went viral on TikTok, but was reduced to being called “the lady in red”.

What if we could change this? What if we cared about each other and began to see the humanity in one another? We could feel so much more connected and less alone. 

As you set your goals for the year our hope is that you also lean into the values that make you kinder and empathetic to the person next to you. Just imagine, if lived well, this is what your values can do: 

1. Compassion

We record so much of our lives and the lives of others on our phones. We capture the highlights, the funny moments and the shocking scenes. But compassion reminds us to see the next person as having inherent value, and to respond with care and empathy. Not every moment, especially ones that expose us at our most vulnerable, deserve to be uploaded to the internet for laughs, likes or shares. Some moments are meant to be experienced in a safe and caring environment, and not broadcast for the whole world to see. 

2. Acceptance 

We live in a country that is still healing from its past. As a country there have been many other instances where we’ve wronged each other, but acceptance teaches us how to embrace our differences and how we move forward together rather than tearing each other apart.

3. Honesty 

Watching the 7 PM news feels like a scene right out of a film sometimes. Many of the people we admired stand accused of serious crimes and are deeply caught up in commissions of inquiry. While we might have once looked at their lives with envy, honesty teaches us to be content with what we have and to have integrity in how we live and choose to make a living. 

4. Forgiveness 

As humans we all mess up – and are hurt by other people messing up. But we don't have to remain stuck in a cycle of resentment. But how do we begin to forgive? Remember that when you choose to forgive, it’s not a once-off decision. Some days you’ll feel free, other days the wound will ache again, but each time you make the choice to heal and not seek revenge, you are living out a life-giving value.

5. Kindness

We speak of being kind a lot. It's common to hear: “Show kindness to others, you never know what someone is going through.” This year we want to encourage you to also be kind to yourself. Too often, we reserve compassion for everyone else while we judge ourselves harshly. But when you learn to treat yourself with patience, understanding and forgiveness, it becomes easier to extend that grace to others. 

Even though there are countless values we could explore, at the heart of it, what truly matters is how we accept others' differences, own our mistakes, forgive, show compassion, have self-control, tell the truth, care for others and allow people to try again. 

If you are looking for more values-based content, why not watch the Heartlines 8 films 8 Values series, download the discussion guide for the film and pick some questions that you can talk through with your connect group, team, family or friends.