Being a single father

Themba has carried the strange inheritance of needing to father his father, and has come to believe that it means three different things. Read his powerful reflections. 

When one of his social fathers invited Lehlohonolo to a leadership moment, things didn't turn out quite as he'd expected. But he learnt a life-changing lesson that he still relies on today. 

Fatherhood can sometimes feel quite lonely, because no one tells you how to father. When a woman gives birth her village automatically takes arm and offers support, advice, meal plans and encouragement. But as a new dad you can find yourself navigating this journey largely on your own. 

I owe my being to the love and bond with my children, the joys and challenges of raising them, the precious moments and shared experiences that define the essence of fatherhood.

We are very sure about fatherlessness, and that's a problem. Themba Dlamini shares how one radio conversation exposed a national blind spot about faterhood in South Africa. 

In many communities, the dominant image of manhood remains physical – protect, provide, endure, fight. These instincts are not inherently wrong. But they are incomplete.